Meet Our Beautiful Angel!

Our Angelic Nicole!


This memorial was created in loving memory of Our Angel Nicole Zilka, whose life story is told throughout it. We thank-you so much for stopping by! In the past Five days of working on this memorial it is already proving to be a true, "Labor Of Love" Although she is now in Heaven where she no longer needs me to care for her, I have found here is a place where I can go and still do something "for her". I can spread the story of My Angel and the lives she touched in her earthly life. Lives that I truly believe she continues to touch. In the coming days and yes, even years I will come here and share my "Love" for my Angel and how we continue without her earthly presence. We will remember Nicole forever and she will remain forever in our hearts. Please sign Nicole's guest book and let us know you came to visit. And if you have any comments, stories or pictures of my Angel that you are willing to share please email me here, zilkad@aol.com Or if you can when you sign her guest book please share any special memories of her you have there. One of the pages I will be adding later will be titled Memories of Family And Friends and all memories shared will go there so others can see her through your eyes. Both pictures and memories will be appreciated more than I can say! As you view this memorial you might want to turn on your speakers. Each page will have a different song to reflect my feeling for her. Each one is special to me in it's own way. Thank-you again so very much! I hope you enjoy your visit and meeting our Angel!

Her Birthstone Was Topaz and Her Zodiac Sign Was Scorpio!

Our Angel Nicole
was born in Savannah, Georgia
on November 11, 1981 and was truly
Our Miracle & Savannah Peach!

Hi Everyone! My Name is Nicole!

I wrote the following words two days after she went to Heaven. I believe they were true then and even more true today. She was, is and always will be Our Beautiful Miracle! Her life a beautiful miracle from beginning to end. And she lived that life as God did intend. Teaching lessons to all she ever came near. Of love and compassion, and how to persevere.

An Angel comes home!

Her middle name was spelled the way it was on purpose in honor of her Mother, and three maternal grandmother's. They are as follows: Mother, Deborah Ann, Grandmother, Barbara Ann, Great Grandmother Jessie Marie, and Great Great Grandmother Annie Jane. Her Grandmother's were all strong and determined women and through out Nikki's short life she showed the same strength and determination.

Our November Angel!

We called her our beautiful miracle because she was just that. A Miracle from the very beginning!
According to the doctors I was unable to get pregnant without help which I never got. The family was so sure of this fact that when called about her impending arrival one Grandmother said that is impossible! There must be a mistake. But is was true and our miracle was on her way. The picture above was taken a few weeks after she came home from the hospital at 4 months old.

My Lovely Daughter Is An Angel and Her Smile Now Light's Up Heaven!

She had an Angelic quality about her from the start and it remained with her throughout her life. She tended to attract people and went through her life making friends were ever she went. Even in ordinary activities like grocery shopping she made friends with the store employees. At one store it was a guard and a cashier. Both of whom made a point of talking to her when ever she came in. In another store it was a stock clerk who took her under her wing. She found out that Nikki "Loved" fried chicken TV dinners but they were often out of them. There after she "hid" some so if we came in and none were there she would go get one out of hiding! lol!

Our love for you never dies and through it you live on forever!

Nikki was born way too early so the miracle's were continuing. She was resuscitated at birth and although only 1 lb. 13 oz's and 13 inches long. She showed her determination even then which got her through bad skin problems, apnea, jaundice, multiple spinal taps due to the IV slipping in her head, as well exploratory surgery of her stomach at 3 months old while only weighing 3-3 1/2 lbs. The IV that slipped in her head at 3 weeks old left her with CP but it never stopped her. She was never our handicapped daughter Nicole. She was our lovely Nicole who happened to be handicapped. We raised her with that idea. Always encouraging her to try anything she chose and never telling her "you can't do that" or you'll never do that. It really worked as she never quit progressing and went much further than doctors ever thought she would.

Our Angel Gets Blessed!

This photo was taken at her Blessing.
Yes, the white material was her blessing dress.
It was made by 3 paternal Grandmother's.
The dress by her Grandma Zilka, bonnet and booties by her Great Grandmother Meta and Great Grandmother Etler.
They were a treasure to me and worn again the following year by her sister Michele.
They are now family heirlooms joining with the blanket she was also blessed in which prior to that was used by first me her mother then by my sister's Donna & Shannon, before going on to the next generation my children Timothy and Collin plus Nikki and Michele.
The blanket has since been used by the following generation, my Grandson's Collin III and Alexander.
All four items are now put away for the next baby.

An Angel even then!

As I said above Nikki had an Angelic quality about her from the start and this showed in many ways from the time she was small. Her smile seemed to light up the room even as a baby. Even in the hospital we were constantly told how pretty she was but it got worse? lol After she came home. Every time I took her anywhere if someone passed close enough to see her they would stop me to ooh and ahh about what a beautiful baby she was and what creamy complexion she had.

She is now one of our Guardian Angel's!

They were right too. lol She came home in March and by the end of June she had a tan from going out for walks in her carrage and running errands with me. When you removed her clothes you could see slight tan lines. I didn't know babies would tan but she sure did!
She tanned beautifully all of her life!!

Our Curly Top!!

This was taken Chrismas 1984. She turned three the month before and as you can see by this time she was a true curly top! But it started almost right away. I have never seen a baby grow hair like she did. She grew slight peach fuzz that was straight at first all over her head except in the very front of her forehead. There she immediately started growing a curl that curled back away from her face. I knew already she would never wear a standard bang with that curl. lol

Our Guardian Angel ~ She now watches over us~

After the rest of her hair got to about an inch long it started curling tight and by the end of June her head was a mass of silky soft gold curls and the curl in front had become a ringlet that bounced on her forehead when she moved. As I said before Nikki had tight golden curls that as she got older did darken but when it did she ended up with all the hair colors from golden blond to dark blond through the all the various brown shades ending with a reddish cast in areas. It was so thick it was hard to find hair ties that worked. Most were too big to not wrap twice but were too small to make that second wrap around her thick hair.

Roses A Sign Of Her Love That I Still Recieve!

If she laid in a bed with a light above her head and her long hair lifted out from under her to rest above her head, her hair seemed to glow as if she had a halo. Kind of makes me wonder now. Under a light you could clearly see the various colors as it started with the light blonde in front getting darker as it went back. It was commented on often by nurses in hospitals. As her hair grew down to her waist, the curls never left the just loosened. Washing it was a real challenge and I helped her. Between the length and thickness, when wet it was very heavy!

Nikki and Micha Jan. 1985

Micha was early too and weighed 1 lb. 12 ozs and was 12 1/2 inches long but soon caught up with her sister. Although it is hard to tell here, by the time this photo was taken Nikki and her sister Micha (Me-sha)who was 1 years 2 weeks younger, were the same size and were sharing their clothes. They continued to do this until they were about 6 & 7 years old when Nikki briefly got bigger than Micha. Followed by them swapping positions when Micha got taller.

Michele's Birthstone is also Topaz and Her Zodiac sign is Sagittarius !

Although they were the same size by this time and both got raves by people when seen, they were total opposites in looks. Micha was just as fair skinned as Nikki was creamy and against her dark hair, brows and lashes it created quite an effect. Nikki had true blue eyes but they could get a greyish or greenish cast depending on her mood and clothes. Micha's eyes are grey blue in the center and they darken as they go away from the pupil to a dark blue but then starting from the pupils she has grey streaks going out creating a star burst look to them.

Our Mischievous Imp Michele!

Micha had curls too in her dark lovely hair but the were softer and never seemed to change much until she hit her teens. At that point it started thickening up until she had more hair then she knew what to do with. During that time it also started developing blonde streaks until now with her 24 years old it is blonde on top and dark underneath.

Our Heavenly Angel and Our Earth Angel ~ Two Loving Sisters

So as you can see they were both so different and special in their own way. And a perfect contrast to each other. By the time this photo was taken I couldn't go anywhere without constantly being stopped and hearing raves about them. Included always at some point in those comments was the question, "Are they twin's?" "They are so beautiful!" Of course I just smiled and mentally
Thanked God for my 2 beautiful miracles

She was Our Angel Of Love!

We have always believed they were both born exactly when God intended. Looking back now it is amazing how that belief was reflected in their lives. When we were told about Nikki's CP they said that due to the fact that so many parts of Nikki's brain was damaged and that damage was pretty extensive they couldn't be sure how badly she would be handicapped. They said it was quite possible she would never even sit up on her own much less walk, talk or run. There was also the possiblity of major mental handicapes. Ultimately although she did crawl, sit up, and say mommy and daddy ahead of her sister, in everything else she did it after Micha did it.

In Life Nikki walked on her toes slightly dragging one foot. ~ Now Her spirit now flies in Heaven!

It was as if even then she knew she was older and it was like "if she can do it so can I" attitude with her. Throughout Nikki's life Micha motivated Nikki every step of the way. At five years old we were told by specialist that Nikki was no longer progressing at the special school she attended but in her home life they saw she was. The only reason that made any sense was that at school Nikki was ahead of the other kids her size so there was no motivation there. But at home she had Micha "pushing her" every step of the way. So their recommendation was normal school where she had other's more advanced to push her. That is what we did and it worked. Along with us never saying "you can't" to her. Micha continued to be Nikki's motivating force all of her life.

Graduating from Junior High

She was so happy to graduate Junior High and move on to High School where she would start in their work program. We lost her on the Friday prior to her starting her last semester of school which would have occured the following Monday. When God took her home and was so looking forward to having a job and earning her own money when she was done with school. She had already done some job training and had also worked with me on a couple of freelance jobs I did. She really loved working and I must admit had she lived even handicapped she would have made a great employee! She worked so hard with me and the work wasn't easy for her as it was very physical. We were doing construction clean-up so there was a lot of sweeping and carrying. But she insisted and after seeing the pleasure she got out of doing a good job and earning money I was so glad I had allowed it!

Like The Butterflies On This Page Her Spirit Now Flies!

Since she left us I have discovered an ability that I didn't know I had. Prior to that day I had wrote a few "fun" poems for birthdays and fewer still maybe 3-4 serious poems. I will never know why I almost immediately turned to poetry but I did and am so glad as it has been a wonderful way for me to express how I feel through these years. On another page I will be putting the various poems about her but there is one that is more special then the rest so I want to put it here.

My Heart Has Wing's & Flies With You In Heaven!

First I must tell you I truly believe I didn't write it. I believe my Angel sent it to me meaning SHE wrote it through me. To understand why I believe this you must know how it was written. After losing her I quickly grew into the habit of talking with her in my head. I honestly had the feeling from little sign's that she heard me and answered me. We lost Nicole on a Friday and if you look at a calender in weeks instead of monthes, on the Friday that marked two years since her passing I was getting ready to go to bed when suddenly out of no where words to a poem started coming into my head as if Nikki was reading it to me.

Like your loving spirit, Roses now surround me!

At the end of the first stanza it paused. So I automatically said "Nikki, that's beautiful!" "I will go online tomorrow and write it and post it." Believing that she meant it for me and ALL grieving parents. I went to bed then but almost immediately the words started coming again starting at the beginning but this time continuing through the second verse where it paused again. I kind of laughed sleepily and said Oh Nik that is wonderful! Thank-you hon! I will be sure to post it tomorrow. Thoughout her life Nikki often was impatient when it came to waiting for something special and I should have remembered that because almost immediately the words came again and again started from the beginning. I laid there for a moment the finally with a laugh I cut her off saying "OK OK I get the message! lol I am getting up!"

Fly Away To Heaven My Sweet Butterfly! Carry With You My Love, As You Fly Thru The Sky!

I got up went online and started writing, with the words coming and flowing so quickly I could hardly keep up.
When done I "read" what she had said with tears in my eyes. I thank her for her beautiful message and then posted it and she finally let me go to sleep.
Since then countless parents have Thanked me for those words. When they do I simply say you must Thank my Angel for writing it for that one truly all her's.
I will post that poem here as the closing of this page.
I hope you enjoy it and if you are a grieving parent,
These words were sent to "You Too."
I pray they bring you as much comfort as they do me.
Hug's, Love, And Angel Blessing's
Deb <> Nikki's Mom

To Grieving Parents Everywhere, Dear Parents!

A Letter From Your Children In Heaven I'm writing this letter from heaven to grieving parents everywhere. Your Angels are right here beside me. We've words with you we want to share. We're sorry we had to leave you. We love you more than words can say. Please know we really haven't gone that far. Yes, we're with you still each night and day.

She Takes My Tears And Makes Raindrops And With Them She Makes Flowers Grow!!

We also want to say Thank-you, for what you did in life for us. We really are fine and happy here, on that you may quite truly trust. We know you'll still have your bad days, and you'll cry because you miss us so. We'll take each tear and make raindrops, and with them we'll make flowers grow.

A Kiss She Places On My Cheek!

So Mom, to you on Mother's Day, a kiss I'll place upon your cheek. And Dad, with you on Father's Day, together, adventures we will seek. Yes, we are with you on all holidays. Not one or some but really all. We're together with you all seasons. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.

Please remember us with joy and laughter, this request we ask of all of you. And tell all the rest of our loved ones, that we love them and are with them too. Yes, we love you all so dearly, and this we will eternally. And one day right here in Heaven, together we will spend eternity. By Nicole A. Zilka Thru Her Mother Deborah A. Zilka©08/05/2005

When In My Heart, I Feel A Tug. Maybe It's An Angel Hug!

A Loving letter wrote by my loving Angel! Who sends me Angel Kisses And Hug's!

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