This online memorial was created in loving memory of my angel, Laurie Michelle Baer, whose life story is told throughout this memorial website. Please sign Laurie's guest book and let us know you came to visit. Laurie is in our hearts, in our minds, she never leaves me...We'll love you forever, Mommy and Daddy.

When Laurie died, the biggest part of me died with her. She was my only child. There lies a hole in my heart that can never be filled, a knife in my heart that can never be removed, a void in my life that can never be replaced, an ache that will never stop, and my life was changed forever. I didn't think I would survive an hour without her, much less a day, a week, a month, a year. Now it has been many years since she left this earth and each day it is harder and harder to find a reason just to get out of bed . There's no place I want to go, nothing I want to do, nothing I want to buy. I only want Laurie and only God knows when that day will be. Until then I have to be satisfied with my dreams of her at night, the pictures of her scattered throughout the house, and my memories of her. You're in my thoughts, you're in my dreams. You're in everything I say and do. You never leave me. I love to dream about you. They are so real. You're alive, we're together. Shopping, driving, laughing, crying. I feel your fears, your joys, and I'm so Happy. But the dreams end, and I'm alone again without you. The times we spent together are like fleeting moments. Sometimes it seems like only yesterday that I held you and kissed you. Other times it feels like forever since I held you in my arms, heard you laugh, braided your long brown hair. Sometimes it feels like it really never happened, like you were never here. Am I losing you? Sometimes I'll remember something about her that I had forgotten.Like the way she used to swish the coke around in her mouth before she swallowed it. Then I'll begin to cry because I had forgotten that already. I'm so afraid I'm going to forget her, to lose her completely in time. As time goes by, will she go with it? Will I lose her? That is why I try to think of her and keep her in my thoughts and dream of her always. I don't want to lose her memory like I lost her physically. I'll die if that happens. I watched a movie once a long time ago, before Laurie died. It was about a woman whose daughter had died and she had left town. Then whenever she came back no one ever wanted to be around her because she talked about her daughter, about the things she used to say and do, like she was still alive. All the neighbors could think was "she acts like she is still alive." She knew that all of her old friends didn't want to be around her, (and I know that too. I guess they think maybe we'll bring them bad luck. I don't know.) One day she could tell she was making everyone feel uncomfortable, so she broke down and cried and told one of them "I'm so afraid I'm going to forget her if I don't keep talking about her." And that is my greatest fear! Her memories are alive now, but for how long. How long can I wait to be with her again? I watched a movie once a long time ago, before Laurie died. It was about a woman whose daughter had died and she had left town. Then whenever she came back no one ever wanted to be around her because she talked about her daughter, about the things she used to say and do, like she was still alive. All the neighbors could think was "she acts like she is still alive." She knew that all of her old friends didn't want to be around her, (and I know that too. I guess they think maybe we'll bring them bad luck. I don't know.) One day she could tell she was making everyone feel uncomfortable, so she broke down and cried and told one of them "I'm so afraid I'm going to forget her if I don't keep talking about her." And that is my greatest fear! Her memories are alive now, but for how long. How long can I wait to be with her again? Sometimes I think that I can't endure it any more. Then I think about Jesus' promise that we'll be together again. But the time isn't coming soon enough. I had nightmares for years of seeing her lying in a casket. That's why I had a closed casket funeral. My two best friends viewed her and told me she looked beautiful. And now many years have come and gone but I'm still here. Where is my angel?

"My Angel In Heaven" We may no longer be together, as you're not here with me anymore. But I still feel you deep in my heart, just the same as it was before. For I could never forget my love, or my beautiful memories of you. And I know that even in Heaven, you still recall those memories too. When I gaze up at Heaven to you, and you look down on me. Our smiles light up the whole sky, for all of Heaven and Earth to see. Our love will always live on, as our souls will forever be connected. God made our cherished souls immortal so our love for each other would be protected. Knowing that you are at peace, brings comfort to my sad heart. And I know God will take care of you, now that we are apart. Until we are together again, and sharing our heavenly home. I will always have my Angel in Heaven, smiling down on me, and never be alone. By Pamela Hall, May 20, 1998

Laurie When you were born, you became our whole world, our life. We tried to give you everything you wanted, nothing too much a sacrifice. We were told that you wouldn't be here long, so we lived in fear. We tried to not let you know, we'd hide our many tears. You were always afraid to go to school. Or very far away from me. You were so afraid your heart would act up and others wouldn't believe. It was like you always had to have me close, because we didn't know just when, I lived in terror every day, so afraid it would be the last, the end. Our world revolved around you, nothing else mattered, only showering you with love. We just didn't want to believe you were just a loan from God above. He loaned you to us for 16 years, our only child, our angel, our heart, The pain was so horrendous, no words can describe, the day we had to part. .The anger I felt at the doctor when we were told you were gone, The emotions all rushed together, they just had to be wrong? I wouldn't leave without you, my baby, this I couldn't do, I couldn't go back home, not without you. The thought filled my mind, as the plane raced through the sky, Lord, please just let us crash, without our Laurie, I want to die. The pain is still so strong in my heart and I know it will stay, But, now I know, I'll be with you again, one glorious day. The Bible says we will know in heaven as on earth we were known. So, be watching for us, honey, when we leave this world and enter that heavenly home. Laurie, we will love you forever, our hearts overflow, You are in the gentle wind, as it softly blows. You are in the vast sea flowing, as the morning tide, We know, my darling, with Jesus, you now abide. We will never say good-bye. Not then, not now, not ever, You will remain within our hearts, a love to last forever. Written from thoughts of Laurie's Mom, Shirley by DJ French, Shane Short's Mom