We miss you so much Toot
This online memorial was created in loving memory of Brian Speckmeier Jr., whose life story is told throughout this memorial website. Please sign Brian's guest book and let us know you came to visit. We will remember Brian forever.
Brian August Speckmeier Jr., Daddy's first son was born December 1, 2007, 7 weeks premature. He stayed in the NICU for only 12 days and he had become "a big boy", doing everything such as breathing and eating all on his own. We were so happy the day he came home. Daddy couldn't wait to hold you and kiss you in his arms at home. He ate so much and started smiling and everything seemed too good to be true, but there were no problems. There were no problems that was until the unforgettable nightmarish morning of February 4, 2008. We had fed him at 12:30 am and when we my husband woke up at 6 am, he immediately ran to Jr's bedside. He screamed, " Honey, somethings wrong with the baby!" I jumped out of bed and followed my husband into the living room where I took the baby and started to try and wake him from what I thought was a deep sleep. I then realized he wasn't breathing. I began CPR and called 911. I continued chest compressions and CPR until the EMT's arrived, which seemed like 10 seconds, honestly. He was still warm and limp. I refused to believe that he was anything more than in a really deep sleep. My husband went to the hospital with them while I stayed to get our 2 year old daughter dressed and a police officer stayed to send our two oldest off to school. Another officer took me to the hospital. When I walked in, my husband was rocking our son and I could tell by the look on his face that our lives had been forever changed. The priest said, "Latisha, I'm sorry, he's gone with God." I fell to my knees and remained in shock for days, until the funeral, which had to be taken care of by our family.
This has been the worst tragedy I have ever endured including losing my mother at the age of 3. The pain is so intense. The loss is unbearable to think about. It actually makes me physically ill when I can't block out the images of that morning. It was determined that he passed away from SIDS. Since there is really no medical explanation for this diagnosis, I cannot accept something that cannot be explained. I am learning to live with a broken heart, as are my husband and 4 other children.
"If love could've kept him here, he would have lived forever."
Baby Brian, Daddy, Mommy and your sisters and brothers miss you and love you so much. Not a day goes by that I don't cry for you. One day we will be together and until then, I will pray for that day when I can once again hold my little boy in my arms and look into those beautiful blue eyes. Toot, I love you forever and ever.
We really need a sponsor as we cannot afford this memorial and we would thank God for any help from anyone. God bless each and every person who I have been able to share this with and please sign the guest book. Thank you very much.
Look at him stare at me as I kiss him, not knowing it would be one of the last times I got that priv
See visit page 2 as it is a special tribute to a special angel who has allowed this memorial possible. We miss and love you Paige-Bug and will see you one day. Until then, we will visit here often. When we need to talk or when we just need to be reminded of what a beautiful girl and wonderful angel you've become. See you soon and you and Brian Jr. and Dayton behave and continue to help God with all three other angels. We are all so proud of you 3 beautiful angels!
Here are kisses for the 3 of you!
There is one blue kiss for Dayton.
There is one pink kiss for Paige-Bug
There is one blue kiss for my Brian Jr.
Enjoy all of our little angels!
Brian Jr. sleeping so peacefully, dreaming of going to be with the angels.
You will always be Toot to Mommy. I don't know where that came from, but you seemed to love it! I miss taliking to my Toot during the day, when it was just me and you. Daddy was working, the other kids were in school and Samantha talked to you probably more than me. She is such a smart little girl. She missed the "pretty baby". That is what she always says about you.